


Ruins

by noero



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Platonic Relationships, Semi-Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 09:44:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5412131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noero/pseuds/noero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren proofreads the condolence letters Levi mails to the families of fallen soldiers.  In between the words meant for strangers, Eren realizes that Levi wasn’t always alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ruins

**Author's Note:**

> A very old ficlet I never fleshed out. I had the idea for this before acwnr was even a thing... but it can still be read as compliant. Or not. I was going somewhere with this but... eh.
> 
> Inspired by this artwork (and the picture frame on Levi’s desk) - https://twitter.com/ss_tkhs/status/431064730485014528

Levi keeps a picture on his desk. Inside is a tiny, faded photo with frayed edges where it was torn from a military enlistment file. It sits in the lower corner of the large porcelain frame, the picture crooked beneath the glass. The girl in the photo is smiling, oblivious to the implications of the service number stamped across the bottom. 

Beneath the picture is yellowing sheet of paper, stamped with the Scouting Legion insignia and creased as though it was folded a hundred or more times. The handwritten ink is faded and illegible but the corners of Levi’s name as the addressee stubbornly peeks out from behind the photo.

A condolence letter.

It takes a moment for Eren to recognize what it is even though he has a dozen of the same in his hands. He frowns, wondering why he’s never looked so carefully at the items stacked on Levi’s desk or how he never cared enough to see what was there.

Editing those letters was Petra’s job first but now Eren has inherited such a task. 

The drag of a chair across the stone floor interrupts his thoughts and he sees Levi is done rattling off the instructions Eren didn’t pay attention to. “Sit,” he says, motioning beside him. His tone suggests he knows Eren wasn’t listening but Eren also knows better than to expect a second explanation.

He quietly sits down and lays the crisp parchment flat on the desktop, glancing nervously at Levi who is already scrawling away at the formal expedition reports. He's as serious as always, paying Eren little mind as he toils away at his work. It's comforting in an odd way and Eren's not sure how to feel about that.

The room is lush and well furnished but Levi’s desk is small, their shoulders almost touching as Eren rests his elbows on the lacquered wood. He studies the paper in front of him and expects an impersonal tone. He doesn’t yet know there’s a part of Levi he’s never met.

He focuses on the wrong things. His eyes stick to Levi’s clipped handwriting and and all the words crossed out and written again. He can tell from the way Levi is working beside him that he’s not inept with his ink quill. It’s the words that trip Levi up in the letters, evidenced by all the places he stopped and started again. He imagines Levi's face as he wrote those words, wondering what it must have been for Levi to complete that task without his presence.

Then Eren pauses, fingers flinching in surprise as he bites his lip in a clumsy recognition of the name on the paper. Dita Martin was a new recruit Eren could remember meeting only once and a member of an Officer Dahl’s squad. They were always in the rear formation and if memory served correctly, Dita was the newest member. His chest aches at the realization that he can’t recall her face. 

He’s somehow more baffled by Levi’s surprisingly personal anecdotes about a soldier Eren barely remembers. 

“I thought the Commander would take care of these,” he asks, regretting the question almost immediately. This is a new arrangement but he can guess Levi doesn't enjoy idle chitchat. 

Levi snorts without looking up. “He’s good with all the big picture stuff. The stuff that makes young soldiers and light hearted idealists cream their pants. To widows and orphans, empty promises to save humanity sound like half-assed platitudes.”

"Oh." In the silence that follows, Eren understands the real reason is sitting atop the desk directly in front of him. The right words come best to those who remember what they wanted to hear. 

Eren wants to ask who she is and what happened to her. He suddenly wants to know what makes Levi hurt, what makes him smile. He wants to know why Levi acts so cold when he's clearly watching everyone and storing their souls in his back pocket. This isn't the man who pulled Eren's hair. This isn't the man they call Humanity's Strongest. 

self-conscious. afraid. indecisive. 

Eren doesn't recognize him. Not his thoughts, his words. 

Levi is back to work on his reports so Eren returns to his. He reads about Dita’s smile and her devotion to her comrades, but never about her sacrifices to the Legion.

Those belong to Levi now. He won’t give them back.

He wonders what words Levi would give him if something happened to Mikasa. Armin. He ponders also if it were his name on the paper. His memories in Levi’s hands.


End file.
